BCS Bedlam

Howdy, y'all. I'm about to use this web space to rail against the BCS. By no means am I the first to levy criticism against college football's championship system, but I wanted to add my voice to the choir.

The BCS (Bowl Championship Series) rankings were just announced, and they determined the winner of the Big XII South. For those that don't follow college football, here's a quick rundown of what transpired in the Big XII Conference's South Division this season. Texas, Oklahoma and Texas Tech each finished with a 7-1 conference record, which created a three-way tie for the division winner. What complicated matters was the incorporation of the head-to-head results between the three squads. Texas beat Oklahoma. Oklahoma beat Texas Tech. Texas Tech beat Texas. As you can see, this created a never ending cycle which left the issue of division supremacy quite murky.

So, conference rules stipulate that the highest rated team in the BCS rankings would take the crown. The problems with the BCS rankings are myriad and have been detailed in a much better fashion elsewhere. Suffice it to say that the rankings are flawed because they proclaim which teams in the country are best through a bizarre formula of computer rankings and coaches' opinions. The formula annually upsets football fans, as only two colleges are picked to play in the championship game from among a handful of excellent teams.

Anyway, cut to today. The BCS rankings presumably deem who is the best, and Big XII fans anxiously awaited to see whom the BCS thought better. It just so happened that the rankings placed Oklahoma slightly ahead of Texas, and consequently, they will play Missouri for the Big XII championship. That's correct. Oklahoma, whose only blemish this season came at the hands of Texas, is ahead of the very team that beat them.

And so, I find myself as another football enthusiast who pleads to the powers-that-be: please, please get rid of the damned BCS. This isn't entirely the BCS' fault, but the fact that the Big XII puts faith in its authority to decide a divisional winner just legitimizes it further.

2008 Music Picks 'n Pans: The Bedlam in Goliath

To me, The Mars Volta are like Santa Claus, insofar as I look forward to any of their new releases with as much anticipation as a five-year-old on Christmas Eve. Such was the case in the months leading up to January 2008’s release of The Bedlam in Goliath. I had been aching to ingest as much TMV as I could after Amputechture completely rearranged my musical sensibilities and tastes in the fall of 2006, and the seemingly interminable wait for the next album was probably akin to what a junkie experiences when he or she can’t get a fix.

As the fall of 2007 passed, a date was finally set for The Bedlam’s release and a tantalizing snippet of what was to follow was offered to fans when “Wax Simulacra” hit the internet. It was still painful, though, because the song clocked in at just under three minutes. At the three minute mark in most TMV tracks, things are just getting good. Nevertheless, “Wax Simulacra” fed my addiction for a short while.

When I finally got my hands on the whole album, I nearly wept tears of joy. Well, not really, but I hope you can appreciate how eager I was to get into a proper listening environment (dark room, headphones) and just gorge. Once I hit the second half of the opener “Aberinkula,” I knew I was in for a treat.

Yes, I definitely enjoyed TBIG. I can’t see how you wouldn’t if you were already accustomed to their complex sound. But how does it compare with the rest of their catalog?

TBIG, like two of its predecessors De-Loused in the Comatorium and Frances the Mute, is purportedly a concept album. I’ll take Cedric Bixler-Zavala and Omar Rodriguez-Lopez, the creative forces behind TMV, at their word, but it’s hard to make much of Bixler-Zavala’s cryptic and often nonsensical lyrics. Oddly enough, I thought Amputechture (the album they claim is not concept album) had more of a universal theme, as it bludgeons you over the head with its constant references to religion. Anyway, the guys claim that the recording of TBIG was filled with a whole lot o’ bad luck after Bixler-Zavala received a strange Ouija board from Rodriguez-Lopez. The bad juju led to lost recordings, a sound engineer having a nervous breakdown, et cetera. The story is a bit much (especially for a skeptic like me) but whether it’s a fabrication or not, it adds an intriguing element to the music.

TBIG hits the ground running with “Aberinkula,” where Bixler-Zavala’s falsetto demands, “Have you seen the living tired of their own shells?” What follows is an interesting musical dichotomy that exhibits why TMV is so great. The first half features Bixler-Zavala wailing with the band dutifully creating an organized cacophony of guitars, percussion and synthesizer behind him. The second (and better) half is replete with urgency. The commanding guitar lines are answered by a panicked saxophone solo that is nothing short of amazing. Other highlights are the funk-rock of “Ilyena,” the stadium-sized guitar riff of “Goliath,” and the Middle-Eastern influences of “Soothsayer.”

One noticeable change in the group’s music is the addition to drummer Thomas Pridgen, who brings an explosive and energetic change to the kit. I’m generally an ignoramus when it comes to percussion, but I couldn’t help but notice the incredibly intense drumbeats that prop up “Wax Simulacra.”

And I daresay that Omar Rodriguez-Lopez’s guitar work is a bit more constrained and focused on this album. But by other standards, that’s still not very constrained and focused. There are still sprawling musical constructions like “Metatron” and “Cavalettas,” but nothing of “Tetragrammaton” grandeur.

To my wife’s chagrin, Bixler-Zavala’s cloying falsetto is still omnipresent on the record. Love it or hate it, it’s most definitely a signature of TMV’s music. But they did choose to run it through some voice modifiers here and there, which prove to be interesting. The fade-in, fade-out of “Cavalettas” is likely to cause head trips whether you’re on hallucinogens or not. On the flipside, his vocals have arguably never sounded stronger than they do on “Soothsayer” or “Conjugal Burns.”

So, to make a long story short, if you liked any of the TMV’s previous work, this album is right up your alley. If you haven’t cared for them in the past, there’s nothing redeeming here (save for the interesting background story, if you didn’t find yourself rolling your eyes while reading it). Their sound has become more nuanced, but it’s not likely to win over any listeners who didn’t get hooked on De-Loused in the Comatorium.

As for me, I once again find myself in that “in-between” stage, anxiously awaiting the next release. I’ll be all right, though. Don’tchoo worry ‘bout me.

Happy listening!

Another day at The Office.

I’d like to pretend that I’m a high-minded snob and profess that I don’t watch any television. But that, as I said, would be pretending. I’d also like to tell you that since I don’t have cable television, I’m not up to speed on shows that aren’t accessible with a pair of bunny ears.

But of course, I cannot. I religiously watch a handful of major network shows, and other favorites that are pumped through the magical system of cable television can easily be found on the internet these days. Suffice it to say that in 2008 one can keep abreast of pop culture (and save a lot of money) by only paying for internet access. Hulu.com has been a godsend, as well as most of the networks who offer up their goodies online in exchange for a handful of 30-second ads. My Netflix membership also allows for instant access to a selection of classic programs that any self-respecting know-it-all should be familiar with. Yes, sir, these modern times sure are good for television junkies.

But if you were to ask me to select the show that I would never, ever want to give up, let alone miss an episode of, it would be “The Office.” Yes, the American one. If you ask me again in early ’09, I might tell you “Lost,” but as of November ’08, it’s The Office.

We’re currently 6 episodes deep in Season 5, and the overarching storylines are beginning to take shape. Here are some of the things that I think will transpire before the season finale in May. I invite other fans to join in the speculation.

Jim and Pam

Jim’s proposal in the season premiere definitely took me by surprise. I mean, I knew it was coming at some point this season, but I figured it’d be toward the tail-end. The interesting thing that most fans probably saw coming is the slight strain that the long-distance relationship is putting on them. That and Pam’s burgeoning art career is shaping up to be a problem down the road for the two lovebirds. In last week’s episode we saw one of the dudes from Pam’s art school attempting to convince her to stay in New York City once her education is complete. We also learn that Jim is planning to purchase his parents’ house, which I assume is somewhere nearby in Pennsylvania. Any fan who thought these two would have an easy-go-lucky engagement are in for a let down. I foresee a rocky road ahead. Of course they’ll probably get hitched someday, but it won’t be by the end of this season.

Michael and Holly

I was saddened to read that actress Amy Ryan (who portrays Michael’s love interest Holly Flax) only signed on to do five episodes. Her move to Nashua, New Hampshire, should put her out of the picture for a little bit, but if the writers are wise, they’ll bring her back in some capacity. I know I just berated fans who thought Jim and Pam were perfect, but c’mon. Michael and Holly are perfect for each other. Michael, despite all of his glaring flaws, is a very nice guy. Ultimately, he deserves Holly: someone just like him. I know Jan will be back in the mix, but I’m hoping Michael has the self-respect to not get involved with her again. Oh, who am I kidding? They’ll probably be back together by the end of this season.

Andy and Angela (and Dwight)

I’ve really been enjoying the dynamic that’s developing between Andy and Dwight. Dwight’s Cornell gag elicited a hell of a lot of belly laughs from me. I foresee the season finale revolving around Andy and Angela’s wedding. But now that we know it’ll be held at Schrute Farms, we can rest assured that Dwight will sabotage it somehow. It only remains to be seen whether or not he’ll enlist the help of Mose!

Toby

Not so sure where they’re going with this one. I sincerely hope that they bring Toby back into the show, because I thought Michael’s inexplicable and unfounded hatred of Toby was one of the most gut-busting running gags. Toby left Dunder Mifflin at the end of last season, but in the current season’s opener, we learn that he broke his neck very early on in his visit to Costa Rica.

Writers, if you happen to stumble across this blog somehow, please hear my plea: BRING TOBY BACK!!!

So it is written, and so it will be. Well, maybe not. After all, I'm just an over-involved fan. Watch tomorrow night's episode and see if any plot developments match up to my predictions.

NFL Playoff Predictions

The Tom Brady-less 2008 NFL season has eclipsed the halfway point and all 32 teams have nine games in the bag (well, except for San Francisco and Arizona, who are currently slogging it out on Monday Night Football as I type this, but they'll get there soon enough). Time to make a series of playoff predictions so that once the season is complete, I can reread this post, scratch my head and mutter something along the lines of "what the hell was I thinking?"

Parity seems to be making a huge comeback to the league. Fans of the Tennessee Titans and New York Giants would probably have an argument against that assertion, but there really are no sure picks beyond those two squads. The AFC East, the division to which I'm most partial, is currently a four-way dash to the top. I definitely couldn't have imagined that at this time last year.

So let me embarrass myself now.

First up, the NFC.

East Champs: New York Giants (Currently 8-1)

I don't see the reigning champs finishing any worse than 11-5, and although the remaining three teams in the division are all very much alive, I think they're going to have to settle for a Wild Card. Eli and company look ten times better than last year's championship team, which should absolutely frighten the rest of the NFL.

North Champs: Minnesota Vikings (Currently 5-4)

The Chicago Bears (currently 5-4) could easily win this division, especially if they are able to beat the Vikes in the Metrodome in a few weeks. But the Bears' problem this year, as it has been for the past several years, is the quarterback spot. Kyle Orton thinks he could play this weekend against Green Bay, but something tells me that his high ankle sprain won't be completely healed for little longer. Rex Grossman kept the Bears in it 'til the end against the Titans, but we've seen so much inconsistency from him in the past that we can never safely bank on him. A case can also be made for the Packers (currently 4-5), but I feel that their last two games (OT loss against the Titans and a one-point loss against the Vikes) show their inability to put games away. I give this one to the dudes in purple because they've got a veteran in Gus Frerotte, a stud in Adrian Peterson, and schedule that looks favorable down the stretch.

South Champs: Carolina Panthers (Currently 7-2)

The Panthers will exact revenge on the Bucs in Week 14 for a humiliating loss earlier this year, and, in doing so, will wrap up the NFC South. Kudos to Matt Ryan and the surprising Falcons (currently 6-3), but reality will soon set in, and I don't see that squad keeping pace with Tampa Bay or Carolina.

West Champs: Arizona Cardinals (Currently 5-3)

These guys would have to have a supreme meltdown to not win this, 2008's sorriest division. They could probably finish 8-8 and still not break a sweat about the 49ers sneaking up on them. Oh, and Kurt Warner for MVP? I dunno. Maybe.

Wild Card #1: Washington Redskins (Currently 6-3)

I'll take a page from the CBS pundits and say that the Redskins won't overtake the Giants, but they'll finish a close second because their remaining divisional games are all at home. They've already shown they can handle the Cowboys and the Eagles, so it'll be interesting to watch their rematch against the Giants. Plus, they get to play a couple o' cupcake teams like the Bengals and 49ers. Playoffs? No problem.

Wild Card #2: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Currently 6-3)

The defense will get 'em in. The offense will determine whether they stay in or not. I have to admit that I haven't seen them play at all this year, but their remaining schedule looks like they'll have no problem racking up a few wins.

Okay. Deep breath. AFC Time.

East Champs: New York Jets (Currently 6-3)

As much as it pains me as a Pats fan to say this, I think the division will start to take a definitive shape when Favre and the Jets beat New England on Thursday night. The Patriots many injuries are simply going to catch up to them. As I write this, I'm browsing through a story that says Adalius Thomas is likely gone for the season. I think it also comes down to the comparison of QBs. Favre is Favre. The dude will probably have an adjective made out of his name someday to describe outstanding quarterbacks. Matt Cassel is Matt Cassel. Sure, it looks like he's gaining confidence and growing up before our eyes, but in the classroom that is the NFL, he remains a C-student (7 TDs against 7 INTs in 8 starts). The Jets can score more points than the Patriots, and that's the difference.

North Champs: Pittsburgh Steelers (Currently 6-3)

Although the Ravens (currently 6-3) could very well surprise us, this division comes down, once again, to the respective QBs. Ben Roethlisberger has a ring. Joe Flacco is the rookie, and although he's been impressive, I've gotta believe that experience is going to trump inexperience.

Look for the Bengals to play spoiler. Am I joking? Yes. Yes, I am. Ha ha.

South Champs: Tennessee Titans (Currently 9-0)

I think they've padded the lead pretty well. The Colts (5-4) are a distant second. Will they finish 16-0? Of course not. Will they be playing in January? Let me answer that question with another question: is Barack Obama the President-Elect?

West Champs: Denver Broncos (Currently 5-4)

The San Diego Chargers have relegated themselves to sitting on the sidelines come playoff time due to their inconsistent play against teams they could've and should've beaten. Did you see that game this past weekend? The lowly Chiefs would've taken them to overtime were it not for the fact that they have nothing to play for! Now they have to virtually run the table against teams like the Steelers, Colts, Buccaneers and Broncos. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why the Denver Broncos will win the West in spite of themselves.

Wild Card #1: New England Patriots (Currently 6-3)

Look for Cassel's crew to finish right behind the Jets and probably make an early exit in the first round, regardless of whom they play.

Wild Card #2: Indianapolis Colts (Currently 5-4)

It's taken a while for Manning to look like he's fully recovered from that offseason knee surgery, but he's looking like the supremely confident quarterback we're used to. Would I ever count a Manning-led team out of it? Not on your life. Of course, it's also nice to have teams like Houston, Cincinnati and Detroit on your remaining schedule.

As a famous philosopher once said, "it is what it is." If there's one thing I've learned through all of this analysis, it's that being a sports prognosticator isn't as easy as one would believe. Make sure to check back in at the end of December so you can guffaw at my picks. I'll be eagerly awaiting your ridicule!

Vendetta!

The presidential election is over. Huzzah!

My candidate of choice won. Double huzzah!

I’ve gotta say that election night was pretty sweet. Barack Obama ran a great campaign. Sure, it was full of lofty rhetoric, the majority of which I didn’t really buy into, but that’s not why I voted for him. I checked his name off on the ballot because his platform, for all intents and purposes, was diametrically opposed to the way things have been run during the past eight years. I won’t mention any names, but I’ll wager you have a good idea of what I’m talking about.

So, there I was election night, basking in the nascent reality of a Barack Obama presidency, and although I just said otherwise, I was swept up in the lofty rhetoric of Barack’s victory speech. Well, that’s not fair. It was a momentous occasion for both sides of the political spectrum: the vision of the civil rights movement had come to fruition and Americans had elected their first black president. Much has been written about the historic occasion, so I’ll let that be. But the main point was that I was quite taken by the historical enormity and occasion of the night. Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

Riding the emotional high, I did an about-face and headed into the dark and sordid catacombs of the internet: the forums on Sean Hannity’s website.

Now, allow me to provide you a little bit of background. I despise Sean Hannity. I’m very much a non-violent guy, but Sean Hannity is one of the few people on this earth whom I’d enjoy strangling. The weekend before Election Day, I registered a free account on his website so I could partake in the spirited political debate within. Oh, and by “spirited political debate” I mean “vile, baseless attacks on Barack Obama.” You see, what started out as an honest attempt to engage the other side in civil debate quickly devolved into portraying the Republican electorate as an uneducated, xenophobic group of outlandish reactionaries. I make no excuses for what I did, only that that’s the environment that Hannity fosters every single day he shows up for his radio and television gigs.

So my short stint on the Hannity forums was nothing to be too proud about, but around 12:30 am EST on November 5^th, I wrote and posted a scathing, but polite, criticism addressed directly to Hannity, accusing him of dumbing down the electorate and costing John McCain any realistic chance of election.

And it got me banned from the forum. For life.

I’ll be the first to admit that I was gloating. And I won’t apologize for it. After the low, low feeling that accompanied the 2004 results, the night of Obama’s election was like the combination of three Christmases and two birthdays from childhood. It was a great! But even though I was a dirty gloater, my post contained no profanities. I addressed Mr. Hannity, but did not threaten or insult him in any way. I simply criticized his lowbrow tactics and his role in creating a gaggle of inexplicably hysterical Republicans who would rather face electric shock therapy than an Obama presidency.

Yet, about 15 minutes after posting my screed, I refreshed the page and was informed that I had been banned from the forums for “contempt of host.” When would that ban be lifted? The window informed me that I would never be welcomed back.

Of course, the grand irony in this whole story is Hannity’s commitment to conjuring up the mythical bogeyman of talk radio: the “fairness doctrine.” This doctrine, which has been discussed in Congress, but has zero chance of ever becoming an actual piece of legislation, supposedly aims to eliminate the bastion of conservative thought (an oxymoron?) on the public airwaves. He loves to bring it up at every chance he gets in the hopes of illustrating how liberals are vehemently opposed to the First Amendment rights. Nothing, of course, could be further from the truth.

And so it is that this self-proclaimed champion of liberty and opinion has banned exactly that. On his own website. Hypocrisy much, Mr. Hannity?

My bold prediction is that freedom of speech will be fine. Hannity and company will be free to develop their asinine personas as Obama’s presidency progresses. If there’s anything Americans love more than firearms, it’s insipid blowhards who have opinions they can’t keep to themselves. But beware Hannity’s website. Unless you’re a god-fearing, socialist-hating Dixiecrat, you’ll be silenced.

And since I’m forever silenced on your website, Mr. Hannity, I’ll take the liberty of using my own webspace to give you a bit of advice: read a damned book, you moron.

Congratulations!

Congratulations, President-Elect Obama! Your election last night has been the best political news this country has had in a great long while. Now let's get the progressive agenda rolling throughout the land!